I am a walking contradiction.

He reads me like a book, highlighting each footnote I try to hide in the finest print. He’s not the first. I used to think I was hard to read a mysterious coy creature who kept all her details hidden. No one is as mysterious as they think they are. He pointed out each fake smile I would try to argue their honestly he would state “Your eyes don’t glow like they do when you really smile.” He tells me I’m a player who fell for every trick in the book. His game was as easy to read as my own. In the end we both got what we want.

They never realise I let them play me. Laying their game before me with the belief that they are in control, never realising I’m leading them around the board. I draw them in with eye contact and cheeky smiles. It’s never long before they are by my side and their game begins. If I want them for the night I let slip that I used to be a stripper. I watch as their mind fills with every memory of the frustration they have felt from all their dealings with strippers. I become something to be conquered a fantasy. Even the most seasoned player plays the obvious moves.

When you’re a stripper you learn you have to be so much more than just sexy, even men tire of sexy after a while. I would to listen to their stories with the wide-eyed sweetness of a virgin, tease them with the playfulness of one of the boys and once they paid to get me behind closed doors I would become the adventurous girlfriend they had always wanted. If I could make them forget they paid me for that moment that we were alone and every dance move, every item of clothing I took off was for them and only them I would win.

It was addicting. Watching these men fall for my moves. They would return night after night some paying for lap dances to only just sit and talk with me alone. Once I realized the power in these tricks I started applying them to all my dealings with men. I stopped playing the game by that time the game had become ingrained into my personality. I didn’t need to act anymore the game was my natural state.

You can take the girl out of the strip club, but you can’t take the strip club out of the girl.

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