I’m sorry I loved him first

I’m sorry I loved him first.

I’m sorry you were not the first to kiss his lips. But do remember he was not the first to kiss yours.

Your body is as touched as his own. None of us are virgins; we cannot wear white and claim to be pure.

They say you can kiss away the pain, but you cannot erase memories with your lips. No matter how hard you press your lips against his you cannot turn back time, making yourself the only girl he has ever loved.

Do not be jealous of ghosts. You are fighting a one sided battle when you go to war against a memory. Memories cannot be defeated with cruel words and hateful stares. You are giving strength to ghosts of the past with your remembrance, with every bicker you are pushed backwards giving them the strength to grow.

I’m sorry that when he talks to me and smiles you feel a bitter pang in your stomach. However keep in mind that although I may be his past, it is you who is his present. I do not hold his love and affections, but I do still hold his respect.

Nothing but close friends, we were easily able to keep our strong friendship when the sex was removed. Knowing that more than anything our friendship was always the most important part of what we had.

A well-known fact that my loyalty to my friends is everlasting; fiercely protective there is little I wouldn’t do for the love of a friend.

I only ever wanted us to be friends. There is no rivalry. I would not give my heart and my body to another if they still belonged to your man.

Jealously is a curse. With ex’s of my own that carried this burden I know how suffocating it can be dating someone who refuses to trust. You cannot love without trust and you cannot be loved without respect.

So love unconditionally, trust until proven otherwise. But believe me when I say you will never find him in my bed.

One thought on “I’m sorry I loved him first

  1. This is so true,, hit the nail on the head! I think that everyone can learn something from this story, including myself sometimes x

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