I would fall in love with the idea of them.

Sep 24, 2018

Eternally attracted to the broken. An internal need to fix in them, what I could never fix within myself.

Destined to see the best in people. An addict to potential, falling in love with who they could be, never with who they were.

I would love them as my imagined ā€˜best version’ of themselves. And as time wore on, and they ā€˜refused’ to grow, my love would diminish, my attention would waiver.

Forever wondering if they were ever in love with me, or were they simply in love with the person I saw them to be. Did they fall in love with their own reflection in my eyes, they way I spoke of their bright future as if a definite reality, was I born to be a mirror?

I called it the 11 month curse, unable to keep a relationship for more than 11 months, now realising this was the unconscious timeline I gave to change.

I fell in love with a man who did not need saving, he saw my soul within my eyes, not his own reflection. For the first time I did not fall in love with potential, I fell in love with reality, in the here and now.

He didn’t cure me of my curse, he did not save me. I never needed another to do that.

As I took the rose coloured glasses off my life, I began to cure myself.

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